Help Me, I'm Talking and I Can't Shut Up.
Ramblin Rose
As Blair walked out of Simon's office, he was seething. He hadn't been this pissed off in ages. Rafe walked up and said teasingly, "What's wrong, you want to cry?"
"You...Get off my planet." Blair replied as sarcastically as Rafe had sounded.
"Hey, Hairboy, don't take your bad day out on my partner." Brown said sounding almost pissed off.
"Brown, you're not the brightest crayon in the box now, are you?" Blair asked glaring at him too.
Conner walked up to Blair and said, "What's going on, Sandy?"
"Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. I'm done being blamed." Blair said firmly.
As Jim walked into the bullpen, Rafe said, "Be careful your partner's in a really bad mood."
"Thanks for the warning, Rafe." Jim said not one bit afraid of Blair and his moods.
"Hey, Chief, you should have been in court today. They raked me over the coals. And when they were done they said that this guy might get off after all. Do you believe that shit?"
"And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?" Blair asked.
"Hey! Whoa, back up. What's going on? You're acting like a crazy person. Want to clue me in on what's got you this pissed off?"
"I'm not crazy, Jim. I've just been in a really bad mood for about 20 years."
"Come on, Chief. Wanna talk about it?"
"Allow me to introduce my selves. According to you, I'm three people. Sandburg, Blair and Chief."
Man, you're in a mood today, all right. I'm just going to go over here and stay out of your way until you want to talk. You do know how to talk, don't you?" Jim said smiling, but didn't mean it.
"Well, Jim, sarcasm's just one more service I offer."
Jim looked over at Blair with a downright hurt expression on his face. To which Blair said, "Whatever kind of look you're going for, Jim, you missed."
Jim moved closer to Blair and said, "I don't know what's wrong, but I don't need this shit and I'm not putting up with it either. So, get a grip or get out of here."
"Hey, Jim, if I wanted this kind of crap, I'd be working in a fast food restaurant."
The bullpen was enjoying this now because they weren't involved with the mood that Blair was in.
Joel came out of his office and said, "Listen up everyone, we have a stake out tonight, and Blair will be our lead person in this new assignment. So, we'll meet about it in an hour."
"Man, I'm trying to imagine Simon with a personality." Blair complained.
"Chief, I don't know what's wrong, but I suggest you keep your voice down when slinging names around about our boss. If you are under too much stress we can get you in to see the shrink as soon as tomorrow, probably."
"Jim, stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep in the first place. Have you ever done that? Man, I've been doing it a lot lately."
As Conner walked by, she said, "Sandy, you're downright evil today. What's up with that?"
"Well, Conner. I can't remember if this is my day to be the good twin or the evil one. So I just went with what seemed to come naturally."
Brown walked up to him and said, "Hairboy, why don't you step outside and say this shit?"
"Jesus, how many times do I have to flush before you'll go away?"
"Okay, Chief, what's going on? What do you want?"
"I just want revenge on a certain person, is that so wrong?"
Rafe walked up to Jim and said, "Hell, he acts like he's possessed."
"Rafe, you say that like possession is a bad thing. Well, I myself think it sounds pretty good."
Joel seeing all of the commotion came back out of his office and said, "What's wrong out here. Sandburg, are you planning on working today or what?
"Joel, can I trade this job for what's behind door # 2?"
Joel just stared at everyone in shock as he walked back to his desk.
Blair stood up and said, "Is anyone going to tell him about the aftershave, or do you think I need to do it? I mean, he smells like he marinated in it."
By this time Jim was getting crazed with his partner's attitude about anything and everything. And he noticed that all the people in the bullpen were waiting for a moment to punch him out. * What a little asshole today.*"
"Jim, do you see everyone trying to figure out what's wrong with me? Well, chaos, panic and disorder have been handed out... My work is done."
The donut guy came into the room and asked if anyone needed anything. He was fairly annoying, but Jim sure as hell didn't want Blair giving him a reason to come out to their house.
Blair walked over to him and said, "The earth is full. Go home." The kid he said this to thought it was pretty funny.
"Chief, I think maybe we need to get you to the Emergency room. You're acting a little funny. Not funny, ha ha, but funny strange."
"Jim, let me ask you this. Do you know if it's time for my medication or yours?"
As Blair picked up some papers that he need to print up, he said, "How do I set this laser printer to stun?"
Everyone had tried to stay calm but no one could stand it anymore. He was just too wild and crazy today."
"Chief, you really need to calm down a little. You're so fucking tense that you're making me tense just watching your body language."
"Maybe I would like seeing how tense your body can get. Especially one certain part." Blair said smiling goofily.
"Sandburg, keep it down, we can't have anyone hearing this. They'll tease you forever on this one, just know that I can tell. We need to calm you down and see if we can get you to lay down and rest for a short time."
"I don't need to calm down. I'm not tense, I'm just terribly, terribly alert."
Simon came out of his office at that point and said, "Why isn't your partner at the hospital? I told him to ask you about it as soon as you got here. Are you leaving now?"
"Yes, Sir. Could you tell me what happened." Jim asked.
"He ingested something that was meant for me. But he didn't drink much before he put it down. Now stop stalling, Ellison and get him up there."
As they were walking up to the elevator Blair turned to Jim and said, "Help me, I'm talking and I can't shut up."
The cars of the elevator opened and Jim pushed Blair into it hard. Once in there, he kissed him soundly and shut Blair up just as he asked.
He took him to the hospital and they found out what it was and were going to keep him overnight. The doctor came in and said, "Mr. Sandburg will be fine, but for right now, he's easily agitated, so try to just keep him calm."
"I'll be here for the next couple of days until he's better, Doctor."
"Good. I'm glad that you're willing to help with him. That's rare in a friendship." The doctor said.
"I'm really tired. Do you suppose I could sleep in the chair next to his bed for today and tonight?"
"Hurry, quick, someone call Whine-1-1."
The doctor couldn't help it he started laughing his fool head off. "You're partner will be fine in about three days. He might not even remember any of this."
I'll take care of him, don't you worry." Jim promised.
Blair started talking again and again said, "Help me, Jim. I'm talking and I can't shut up"
Jim did laugh this time, but he also kissed Blair's lips.* This might get to be interesting. *
Jim couldn't wait until he got to the bullpen again and told everyone this. He glanced over and saw that Blair was sleeping. Jim was glad of that, for Blair's own good. They'd tackle all of this tomorrow. But for right now, he needed to be sure that he stopped him from talking. After all, he was driving himself insane. Not a good sign.
The end.
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