Shower Phone
Ramblin Rose
As Blair walked into the loft he could hear the sound of an electric drill. Was it coming from the bathroom? What in the hell would Jim be doing in there? Nothing was broken.
As he walked into the room, Jim smiled at him and said, "Shower phone."
"Wait just one minute, Ellison. You're putting a shower phone in our bathroom? So the one place that we are alone together now and then can be interrupted?"
"Jesus, Chief. You make it sound like our phone rings all night and day long. It doesn't. But in case we're in there and there is an emergency, we can answer."
"Put that damn drill down, Jim, if you know what's good for you."
"Chief, settle down, it's almost done and then we won't have to listen to Simon bitching about not being able to reach us in the evenings or early mornings."
"Back away from that fucking drill, Jim. I mean it. I'm not kidding here. If you put that phone up in this shower, I'm moving back into my room."
"Chief, Simon gave me the phone. It was all his idea. I have to put it up. I tend to listen to my boss now and then."
Well, Jim, this is going to be once that you had best pass it up. Simon's a jerk. I can't believe he even thought of that. You'll take that damn phone to him tomorrow and give it back to him."
"Chief, I have to put it up. I already told him that I would."
"Jim, do you like the way I suck you off?"
"Of course I do, chief. I'd be an idiot to say no."
"Well I sure hope you have a good memory because I'm never doing it again. I'm never sucking you off. I'm never fucking you and you're never fucking me again."
"Chief, wait a fucking minute. That's blackmail."
"I'm not above blackmail. I never said I was." Blair said smiling as he started leaving the room.
"What do you expect me to tell him when he calls me into his office tomorrow and asks why I didn't put up the fucking phone?"
"Well, you could begin with telling him how busy you were being fucked senseless. Well, that's if you don't put it up. If you put it up, you'll be able to answer the damn thing non-stop. I'll find me someone else to fuck."
Jim glared at Blair at this point. "Chief, I don't even like you joking about that. Okay?"
"Who said I was joking, Jim?"
"Blair, Simon asked me to do this and I told him yes."
"Fine. I'll be in my room if you need me for anything in a friendly way because that's all we are now, buddy. No more fucking."
"Could we put it up and then you be in charge of answering it?"
"No." Blair said stubbornly.
"Fuck. Why do I always have to give in to you? It's not right."
"See you later, Jim." Blair said as he walked into his room and shut the door soundly.
Very quietly, but loud enough for Jim to hear, Blair began his tirade. "Well, Mr. I have to listen to my boss over my lover, Ellison. We'll see how well you do with hanging out with Simon non-stop and no sex because you're getting nothing from me. You asshole, you're such a prick. Oh goody, I just used asshole and prick in the same sentence. I'm so proud. You've brought me down to this level, Ellison, and you'll be made to suffer. Next thing Simon will ask you to do is wash his fucking car and you'll probably do it. We get so little time together, Jim. I can't believe you're willing to give that up for a shower phone."
Jim listened to all of this and he called Simon and said, "Simon, I'm not putting the shower phone up."
"And why is that, Detective?"
"Because Blair said I couldn't." Jim said sheepishly.
"Well, that's a good enough reason for me. That's fine. Just bring that back in and we'll take it back for a refund."
Jim walked over to Blair's study door and knocked on it. "What?" Blair called out, really irritated.
"Chief, I just called Simon and told him that I wasn't putting the phone up in the shower."
"And he was all right with that, Jim?"
"Yeah, I told him you wouldn't let me and he said he understood that."
Blair couldn't help it. He started laughing. Jim glared at him and said, "What? What's so funny?"
"I can't believe that you gave him that as a reason. You are so whipped, tough guy. Offer you sex and you get all soft on me. Oh, sorry, that would be you get all hard on me."
Keep laughing, funny man. Get your ass upstairs and I'll show you who's boss." Jim said laughing.
"Well, Jim, if Simon asked why I didn't want it in there I'll tell him that it was getting tangled up with our equipment. That'll shut him up for awhile. I know that for sure."
"Chief, promise me you won't say something like that. Okay?"
"Oh fine, you big old fud. I'll just tell him how nice your equipment is, how's that?"
"No, Chief. That isn't fine. Let's not even go there. Understood?"
Jim, do you really want to do some drilling? Because if you do, I know someone that just happens to have a nice ass waiting to be drilled."
Smiling, Jim said, "Okay, hot shot, get upstairs and I'll show you drilling."
"Hot damn. Now that's my idea of fun. Shower phones, no. Hot drilling sex, yes."
"Get your fine ass upstairs, Chief. I want to drill it right now."
"Fine, I'm up there. You don't have to say it more than twice. Last one upstairs is on the bottom." Blair said as he laughed and ran up the stairs.
Jim didn't even try and catch up. For some reason he didn't mind when he was on the bottom. He loved to be drilled. And if Simon brought this up at work, he'd tell Simon all about it. That would shut him up for sure."
"Chief, you belong to me, I hope you know that. Don't ever threaten to take you or your ass away from me again. We'll talk things out but don't threaten me with that. I'd die without you."
"I love you, man. Don't worry, Jim. Things will be fine." Blair said smiling as he started stripping out of his clothes.
Jim practically drooled when he saw his naked lover. Blair looked better naked than most folks looked half dressed or fully dressed. As Jim licked his lips he moved over towards the bed taking off his clothes one piece at a time. This was going to be good, Jim could tell.
"Who do you belong to, Chief?"
"I belong to you, Jim. No one else will ever have me in this same way."
"Good, now let's get on with this drilling business."
Blair giggled, yes, giggled as he realized how much fun this was going to be. Jim started the job of drilling and damn if Jim wasn't one hell of a driller.
And to think this whole evening started out about a shower phone.
Shower phones rock for bringing things to the surface.
End Shower Phone
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