Please Forgive Me
Warning: m/m If you hate song lyrics, this would be one to hate. <g> It
has the song, "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams. Lyrics are ( ) . Had
to throw a little angst into it. Had to. Someone made me. I think it was
Lisa. <g>
Summary: MMOM Okay, Blair is having fun, while listening to Bryan Adams on
his headphones. Someone is crying, someone is cumming. Lets just wait and
see. Many thanks to Lisa, Duncan's Twin,who was my fantastic beta. She was very kind.
*******************************
Please Forgive Me.
Patt
Blair was lying on his bed, listening to his CDs. Jim was out on a call
that didn't involve him. It wasn't like he
was a real cop yet, so he should not
expect anything to be different. All Blair knew is Simon
told him that Jim would be gone most of the night.
So, he settled in and decided to listen to some Bryan Adams; Blair was
sad and sometimes his music made things come to light.
He also realized that it was growing harder to get laid now. No one
was really jumping at the chance to go out with him. It's not like he had a
disease; he was in limbo. He guessed he would have a
date with Rosie and her five daughters. ' Well, it was better than nothing.
Right, Sandburg?' Oh good, now he was talking to himself. 'Lack of sex
makes you nuts and makes you talk to yourself.'
He walked to the front door to be sure it was locked up tight.
'Don't want anyone coming in while I'm busy.' 'No way.' He had things to
do. He had Rosie's daughters to keep very, very busy
As he headed into his room, he started taking off his
clothes. He was throwing them into a pile, 'Fuck Mr. Neat,' he thought. 'Oh
shit, I wish I could fuck Mr. Neat.' 'Oh Sandburg, you are losing it big
time.'
He was naked lying back on his bed, he picked up
the CD player, put on his headphones and turned it on. It was " Please
Forgive Me." He loved this song. As he starts
the CD, he's already running his hand over
his cock. It is semi-hard; not really there yet, but give
those daughters a few minutes and things will look
differently. Soon, he would be calling each of those daughters by their
first names.
(Still feels like our first night together,
Feels like the first kiss,
It's gettin' better. baby, no one can better this.
Still holdin' on, you're still the one.
First time our eyes met,
Same feelin' I get,
Only feels much stronger,
Wanna love you longer.
You still turn the fire on.)
At this point, he was really getting into loving
himself and the song at the same time. He turned the CD player off as
he bent over and reached into the drawer for some Astro-glide. 'Oh
yeah, that makes things much more interesting.' The cool jel needs to be
warmed in his hands first. He started moaning as he resumed his stroking.He
turned the cd
back on. Getting to the chorusBlair started feeling like he was near the
edge. It felt soooooo good.
He used his limber body to bend perfectly and reached around, pushing a
finger into his opening. 'Oh Goddess, this is
wonderful.' It has been a long time. He continued to push that finger in
and out, while stroking with his other hand. The sensation was almost too
much, but each time he would back off. Then, he
listened to the music., letting the words sink in.
All of a sudden, without knowing why, he is crying, but he's also still
stroking himself. He is crying hard and singing along with the song.
'I fucked up our lives so bad.' He wished he could talk to Jim
about it, but every time he wanted to, Jim said everything was fine. ' Fine,
my
ass.'
He was singing along with the CD and didn't hear the
footsteps outside his room.
(Still feels like our best times are together,
Feels like the first touch,
Still gettin' closer, baby, can't get close enough,
Still holdin' on, still number one.
I remember the smell of your skin,
I remember everything,
I remember all your moves,
I remember you.
I remember the nights, ya know I still do.)
(One thing I'm sure of
Is the way we make love
And one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong.
With every word and every breath I'm prayin',
That's why I'm sayin')
He was moaning louder now, gasping out the lyrics, telling
no one in particular that he wanted to do this to Jim so badly. And he was so
close even though he was sad. 'Can't stop old table leg fucker Sandburg.'
And the tears were coming harder and
harder.
(Please forgive me, I know not what I do,
Please forgive me, I can't stop lovin' you.
Don't deny me, this pain I'm goin' through,
Please forgive me if I need you like I do.
Babe, believe me every word I say is true,
Please forgive me if I can't stop lovin' you.
Never leave me, I don't know what I'd do,
Please forgive me, I can't stop lovin' you.)
And then he was sobbing and cumming at the same time, wondering how a
person can do both thingssimultaneously. But then he just wipes himself off
and rolls over
on his side, curling into a ball, depressed. He loves Jim. That much he
is sure of. He will have to think about what to do. He needs to move on.
He can't have Jim finding out about how he feels. It would make things even
harder than they are.
All of a sudden, the he feels someone sit down on the bed, and it
scares him at first, but then he sees that it's Jim.
This makes him cry more, but Jim wipes his tears away and kisses
him. Pulling the crying man closer, Jim kisses Blair again, telling him with
kisses that he doesn't need to be forgiven. Oh god, he is so confused.
Jim leans down and whispers in his ear, "Blair, I have loved you forever."
And they hold on to each other for a long time.
Finally, Jim smiles and says, "Chief, do you think
you could do some of what you said you wanted
to do to me, right now?
Blair laughs, pulling Jim's clothes off as fast as
he could. 'Oh yeah, this is going to be fun. 'Making love to a
Sentinel. All right.'
Looking at Jim, he says "Do you regret anything
that I have said or done?"
And very easily Jim answers, "Never." ,
Simple as that, and then there were no more words. Blair was loving this
wonderful man. It was as good as he thought it would be. No, it was better.
Because Jim loved him back. Jim needs him. Jim wants him.
As they started getting with the program, Jim smiled at him and says, "No
more fucking Rosie and her five daughters, do you hear me?"
Blair just held on for dear life. This man was just what he needed,
wanted and
desired. Perfection comes to mind. And to think he almost didn't play with
Rosie tonight.
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